Annalisa Toole

Brigham City is where I lived when I was a single mom with two babies. I was 22 years old, looking for God, and went back to the LDS Church I was raised in (I quit church at 14). It was great! I prayed to God every night to forgive my sins (sex without marriage, out of wedlock babies, drugs, etc.) and spent hours in tears almost nightly, as instructed by my bishop. I wasn't allowed sacrament; I was on suspension until I was forgiven by God.

After three months, in the middle of the night, praying my heart out, tears streaming down my cheeks for the sins I had committed and my longing for my Gods love and forgiveness, a sudden peace overcame me, and almost paralyzed me. God whispered "Oh Anna. You were forgiven long ago!" I broke into a laughter that soothed my heart. He loved me always! So... I went to my bishop and told him I was ready to take sacrament and I believe God had forgiven me. He told me to just keep praying, and said I wasn't ready yet. I insisted that sacrament is really important to me and I believed I was ready. He said it usually takes many more months and to just be patient. I walked out and never returned.

If these men were going to keep me from my God, then it couldn't be true. They obviously hadn't been talking to the same God I knew or He would have told them I was forgiven.

Shortly after, all my newfound Mormon “friends” shunned me. Not a hello, please come back to church, not a smile or a wave. Just glares and hatred. Way to be like Jesus guys! It's okay; it was meant to be. I found a good church when I moved to Colorado that taught me the true love of Christ.

Annalisa Toole

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